I wish for God to grant me the peace and patience to accept the things that I cannot change this year. I spent far too much time stressing over the things that I had no control over in 2008. This year, I want to simply be able to stand back and accept those things with a great sense of inner peace.

I probably have the hardest time asking for space. I love being around people... especially my family. But, I often have times where I wish that I could just have some alone time to reflect on things and relax. It's hard for me to ask for this because I am always scared of how I am going to come across to the other people. I don't want to make them feel like I don't love them or I don't want them to be around, and I feel sometimes like asking for my space is going to make them feel like that.

The last thing that I learned how to do was loading, shooting, and unloading my husband's guns. I have a fear of guns, and I am not particularly happy about having guns in my home. However, I know that my husband feels like guns will give him the ability to protect me and children (if we have them in the future) from anything that may enter our home and try to harm us. I did not even want to touch the gun, but I knew that it was important for my husband that I do it. So, I now can sucessfully load, shoot, and unload all of my husband's guns. It also took a bit of the edge off of my fear. I never plan on using my new skills on anything or anyone... but I am pretty proud of myself for learning.

I think that I have the hardest time giving people honest answers to tough questions. I cannot bear to see people hurt or disappointed, which is often the result of an honest answer. While I do always give people the honest answers that they deserve to hear, it is extremely hard for me, and I often have to do it with a heavy heart.

What is going right in my life? This is a hard question for me to answer right now since this week has been so incredibly hard for me. My husband's aunt and uncle were killed in a car wreck, I discovered that I'm having to add an extra semester on to what I thought was the end of my college career, my great grandma broke her hip and is not probably going to live much longer, and my husband lost his job... all in less than a week.
But, in all of this there is something that is going right... that is the love and the support that I get from my friends. In the midst of darkness, my friends have come out of the woodwork and my relationships with them have strengthened. I feel absolutely blessed to have such amazing people in my life.

It is always my first instinct to run and hide somewhere when I am feeling afraid. However, I force myself to choose a better way to deal with fear. I have found that prayer and singing songs that calm myself down are amazing ways to deal with my fear. These things may not always work, but I would say that at least 99% of the time, they are great coping mechanisms!